Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
