Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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