dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize