I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
