I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
