but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
