After last night, I could never be a politician.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
