two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
