I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
