Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
