8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
