No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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