If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
