this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
