Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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