why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i believe in u and ur pee
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