I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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