Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
