Me too!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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