The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
