If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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