Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
