I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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