K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize