the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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