Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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