Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
