i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
