Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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