some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
