woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
