just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
