D3 body, D1 cock
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
sarcasm needs its own font
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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