That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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