i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
