There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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