Whats the glycemic index on semen?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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