i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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