I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Swine flu is the new snow day.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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