The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
did i walk over a car last night?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
