He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I love having hate sex.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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