remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
