Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
