Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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