I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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