Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
