Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
