We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
