Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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