I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
