Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
