No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
