He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
