WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
