i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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