So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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