Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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