Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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