I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
