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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
