Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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